SICK LIST. Please pray for the following parishioners in their distress: Mrs Molly Badnite (boils on the backside); Malcolm Ghastly the professional contortionist (a hernia obtained when trying to twist himself into an impossible position); Micky Cross (a nasty kick from a llama).
LATIN MASS. Father Arthur has received a petition signed by 200 parishioners, all demanding a Tridentine Rite. This is a statistically insignificant number, and those people who signed should surely examine their consciences, and remember that under Vatican II the Latin Mass was criticised as "difficult," "old-fashioned," "boring," and "traditional" (could there be any stronger terms of condemnation?)
SPIRITUALITY IN OUR PARISH. Our Lenten talks continue this week with "Jesus - The First Bearded Lady?" by Fr Sue Cornplaster of the Coronation Street Institute for Intergendered Theology. In fact, Father Sue says the answer to her question is no - there is clear evidence that Abraham and Moses were women as well.
LENTEN ALMS. Our sister church of St Phil the Lapsed is asking for donations in aid of the Romanian Travellers currently camping in their car park. They would particularly welcome donations of lead sheets, copper piping and wire, and indeed other metals too, especially gold, silver and platinum ingots.
Father Arthur writes: unfortunately St Phil's is not able to help our Romanian brothers and sisters directly: indeed, we seem to be in need of such items ourselves, since the roof is leaking, the central heating system appears to be missing a few essential pipes, and the fine statue of Cardinal Vogon Blessing A Whelk seems to have disappeared completely.
GOSPEL MUSIC NIGHT. Saturday's Event will be in aid of one of Father Arthur's favourite charities, the Labour Party. We welcome the Ed Miller Band and the Obama Singers for an evening of sacred music, including the famous Chinese hymn "Socialism is great".
Socialism is great, socialism is great!
People of socialist countries have high social status.
Reactionaries are overthrown. Imperialism tucks its tail and flees.
Tractor production is up, and the country acclaims the socialist revolution.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: Behold, I make all things new. Revelation 21:5
It is totally typical that the gospel writers - notorious mysoginistic Catholic traddies to a man - should perpetrate the Zionist myth that the Golan Heights (or wherever it was they went up the mountains ) belonged to the Jews, and not the Arab Muslims, who have of course, been the long term inhabitants of all that region before the 6-day war when the Zionists unfairly tricked the Egyptians into invading so they could beat them and thus provide cover for their notorious land grab.
ReplyDeleteWhere might I ask, were the representatives of Ishmael on the mountain? Why were wimmin not given a place at the discussion table or bush or whatever?
It may be true, as Father Sue Cornplaster says, that Moses was representing the transgendered community but where were the real wimmin? Er...
Well anyway - Why is "Fr Sue" adopting patriarchal and repressive titles like "Fr" anyway?
If Abraham was a womyn it does explain why she was so ethical and prepared to sacrifice her newborn son in order to equalise the gender gap caused by the a womyn's right to choose to abort their female children.
It also explains why Abraham and Sarah had to wait till they were 99 to exercise their human right to IVF, as lesbians are discriminated against on the NHS. I blame that Maggie Thatcher.