The money-changers in the Temple

FATHER ARTHUR WRITES.The message of Sunday's Gospel is very clear, isn't it? Jesus hates money-changers, bankers, accountants, stockbrokers, insurance salesman, and financial advisers. Don't we all? Jesus of course would have reason to hate insurance salesman, but this was only later, when they refused to pay out on his life insurance. With typical dishonesty the insurers claimed that he had technically "risen from the dead," which invalidated the policy (this may be the origin of the Resurrection myth that some fanatical traditionalists still cling to). What can we do to bear witness to our Christian life? Well, I think we need to take up our tents and camp outside the house of Mr Mainwaring the bank manager, don't we? And perhaps throw a brick through the window of the Bureau de Change in the High Street? Worth thinking about...

A fiend incarnate, preparing to grind the noses of the poor into the dust  It should not be forgotten also that Jesus hated people selling cattle, sheep and doves in church. And I think I may say that He was quite right there. Indeed, I was a little irritated when my carefully-constructed sermon last week was interrupted by loud whispers of "How much do you want for that goat, George?" You know who you are, and it must not happen again.

ON YOUR WAY OUT. Please take time to visit the gift stall in the Lady Chapel. Today you are encouraged to buy shares in DARYLCO, the limited company we have set up to manage the church's assets. Moreover, Mrs Badnite's rabbit has given birth to six babies: these are on sale very cheaply to a good home (all profits in aid of DARYLCO). They make wonderful pets for your children, and if the kids misbehave then you can eat the rabbits.

WALK FOR WATER ON WORLD WATER DAY. This is on March 22nd, and we have asked Big Chief Running Tap of the local Apache Church to perform a sacramental rain dance in the church, before we begin. However, the event well may be cancelled in the event of bad weather.

Fr Tap's own church  ST DARYL LADIES FUNDRAISING COFFEE MORNING raised £183.00 in aid of the campaign for legalising gay marriage. Well done, ladies! It cannot be long before the Pope realises that Cardinal O' Brien and similar dinosaurs do not reflect the views of the modern Catholic in the pew. The next event is likely to be a Pro-Choice Vigil.

LENTEN ALMS. This week we are making charitable donations to the poor starving people of Greece.They have been asking us for money, marble sculptures, and more money. Their representative, Mr Copalotahippopotamopashutyagobagottawopparhinoceros, wishes it to be known that he considers that it was in very bad taste of someone to send him the following postcard.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:  And if thou hast been forced to eat much, arise, go out, and vomit. Sirach 31:25