Proud to be pink

FATHER ARTHUR WRITES: Some of you may be wondering why I was dressed in pink at Mass this Sunday. In fact, it was "Laetare Sunday," which is a traddy way of saying "Chill out, dudes! We're happy happy happy," and we priests in good standing are authorised to wear pink vestments on this day. Of course, the real reason I am wearing pink all week is in solidarity with our gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered, multisexual and omnisexual brothers and sisters (or shall we just say "siblings!") It cannot be long before the Catholic church relents from its outdated homophobic stance on marriage, and allows me to marry couples (and even larger groups) of any orientation in church. St Daryl's will as usual be in the vanguard of progress.



Fr Pau, modelling the latest in pink vestments  BIBLE READINGS: Not much in Sunday's readings, I'm afraid. It's all about outdated notions such as good and evil, and being saved from our sins. Well, that's not going to mean much to the man in the street, is it? No wonder that all intelligent Catholics are turning to more exciting religions with a higher body count - such as football.

MAUNDY THURSDAY: We are dispensing with the symbolic washing of feet - no longer relevant in an era where virtually all of our parishioners have baths in their homes, even if they don't use them very often, do they? Naming no names, I always make sure that I am surrounded by industrial-strength incense whenever I am approached by Messrs O'Dour, Wottapong, Moly Badnite and Micky Ross-Mollusc! This year we are celebrating the more practical aspects of washing, and volunteers will be needed to clean Fr Arthur's car in time for it to be ritually blessed at Mass on Easter Sunday.

ECUMENICAL SERVICE: On Palm Sunday all the churches in North Trollbridge will be joining together in an act of common worship. This year it is the turn of the Romany Fortune-Tellers to host our "get-together," and appropriately we shall be crossing their palms (with silver)! Do come along, and bring your Tarot cards with you. Who knows, you may be in line to meet a tall dark handsome stranger!



Could this be the next incumbent of St Daryl's?  THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: The stranger did not stay without, my door was open to the traveller. Job 31:32 They have violently robbed the fatherless, and stripped the poor common people. Job 24:9